So it has been a while since I have updated my blog and it isn't because I haven't been thinking about it, but life happens and I would rather go to bed then sit up and figure out what to write. Not that I sleep when I am in bed...because sleep doesn't happen much around here except for Kayden and Ryan.
So I decided that I needed to write what was going on with me just for my sake and so I don't forget so I have future references to go back on. A little over a month ago I was put on a steroid...I didn't mind as long as it was for a short term. I had gotten to a point where I wasn't getting any better and I wasn't getting any worse. I just knew that I was tired of not being able to pick up Kayden (especially if he was in a fisty mood) and I was sick of not being able to change his diaper and doing things that people take for granted everyday. I had reached a breaking point and I couldn't handle it anymore. I made an appointment with my doctor and went and saw him two weeks later. That is when he decided to put me on the steroid. I am still doing my treatments every other week and taking the steroid daily. Also, I am not giving the steroid full credit because I don't think that it was completely the steroid. When I was in the hospital in August my brother, Keith, called me and told me about this all natural supplement that he wanted me to think about taking. I told him I would look in to it and then life happened and I never did. My brother really isn't in to the all natural things so I was kind of surprised. He had been taking it for other reasons and thought it may help me. I am not into the all natural things either. I didn't start taking it right away...in fact, it wasn't until I talked to my sister-in-law one day that she said that she was ordering some for me to try. They couldn't hurt anything that is for sure. I got them in the mail a little over a week later and started them. I can now tell on the days I don't take them because my hands and feet seem to tingle all day. Anyway, so I give that most of the credit as well.
The whole process since I got out of the hospital in August has been more than frustrating and I have had a very hard time staying positive. I feel bad for my husband who has been nothing but supportive and has picked up the slack and has more than proved himself as an amazing person. I also feel bad for my sister-in-law that I call almost every morning and she usually hears me complain and talks me through it. She is amazing! I am very hopeful that this next year will be a year of recovery. I don't think I could handle anything more. If I stay positive then I know it can happen. Let's kick this disease in to remission. Also, if you see me and I look like I am pregnant, don't get your hopes up. It can't and isn't going to happen for a long while. These steriods have made my face a little fat and I have done a pretty good job at watching what I eat so I don't get super fat. Beleive me...I think I would rather be pregnant. (The reason this came up was because someone asked Ryan if I was pregnant!)
So on to Kayden! Kayden never ceases to amaze us. He is definetely a two year old, but he melts my heart at least 50 times a day. He is so cute and funny and cuddly and loveable. I feel bad because sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with him so I get frustrated which makes him frustrated, but I am working on it. He is talking in full sentences and his latest phrase is, "Please don't!" And he always says it in the right spot. He loves to help me do everything and make everything. I usually just put him in front of the sink with the water running and he thinks he is being a huge help. The mess is a very welcome treat if it means I have a happy little boy that just wants to help.
So on to Ryan...Ryan is in school full time and is a work out fanatic. He will do his work outs and then still take the time to go walking with me at night since that is really the only exercise I can do. (If you saw me run you would laugh...I can't do it!) He tried out for the Mesa Police Academy and passed the Physical Test and then got selected to do the written test, but missed it by six points. DARN! But we just remind ourselves that everything is on the Lords time. Most people can't pass this test the first time. It usually takes them 2 or 3 times so for Ryan to only miss it by six points...I think that is darn good!!!
3 comments:
Camilla you are such a trooper. You never cease to amaze me. My thoughts and prayers are continually with you.
Glad to hear things are going ok. As I read it almost seemed like a carbon copy of what Taryn could write for our year. She doesn't sleep and gets mad at me and Brigham because we are out in no time. Then with her own medical issues that we have suffered through. And everything about Kayden sounds just about the same for Isaac. But through it all we seem to be happy and in a good place. So keep hanging in there and everything will work out in the end because the Lord is on your side.
Camilla I'm so proud of you. You have taken this trial and handled it like a superstar. I don't know if you feel like that, but just so you know I really admire you.
And good for Ryan! Only missing it by 6 points!? That's incredible!
And I love your viewpoint with little Kayden helping out with the dishes. You're right, the mess he may make now will mean nothing when you have the memory of what a little helper he was when you think of it 20 years from now.
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