The past year I am thankful for the many tender mercies I have had. However, I haven't been the best at noticing them and being thankful for them. The past couple weeks have been really hard on me and I have had to sit back and be thankful for all that I have and sometimes that is really hard to do. I get to feeling sorry for myself and I can't get out of the funk. I have to say that as much as I dislike what has been dealt to me health wise...I am really thankful for it. That is really hard for me to say, but it has made me slow down and realize what is really important.
While I have been on the trail to 'remission' every doctors appointment I have had I have gotten progressivley better. Ultimately I just want to get better and that is what I tell my doctors. At my last visit my doctor informed me that he was at the end of his residency and would be moving back to Ohio. I was really sad because he has been with me from almost the very beginning of this whole ordeal. Yesterday was my last appointment with him and it was a really good one. I have been on Prednisone (steroid) since the end of September and have slowly been having more and more side effects show up. I really do feel bad for Ryan because he usually gets the brunt of everything I deal with and he is great! So they are reducing the steroid more steadily so that I can get back to normal...HOORAY! Also, they have just figured that I had permanent nerve damage in my hands because I haven't had all my strength. I am proud to say that I have my strength back in my hands and my thumb was the weakest last time and it is now the strongest. My reflexes were really strong yesterday too. Let me just say how wonderful it is to have reflexes after a year of not having them. Now I just need to focus on my fatigue. Any suggestions are gladly welcome!
Then...if anyone follows me on Facebook you know that I have been working overtime since February at work. Our system that was rolled out in February has had some issues and when it can't figure out how to solve them on its own...it just shuts down. They are expecting it to take about 2 years to recover. Not only do we have the new system, but we are merging with Wachovia and converting them to the Wells Fargo platform. Work has been really frustrating for me. I am so grateful that I have the job I have because I really do love it. HOWEVER, (you knew that was coming, RIGHT?) I am so sick of people speaking negatively at work. But what bothers me even more is that I don't have the courage to say anything to them about it. I need help, everyone! I need to be able to have the courage to tell people that I don't want to hear the negativity because it not only brings me down, but it brings them down too. I have resorted to putting my earphones in all day and ignoring everyone, but I want to build up courage to tell people what I think in the long run will make everyone better people. Any suggestions are very welcome with this matter as well!
Anyway, I think that is all I have for now. I may be all over the place but I hope my point is clear.
4 comments:
Who the heck was writing this blog! You are one of the most assertive people I know! You called me out all the time! :) lol
Just sit the negative people down, tell them how you feel...and it will change! You are strong and not a whimp...you can do it girl!
I agree. Just come out with it. Of course, you don't have to be rude about it, but it does help to be honest about it.
For instance, you don't have to say "I don't wanna hear it! Take your negativity and leave me the heck alone." Although that's probably what you really wanna say. ;) But you could say it a little more gently like "I understand you're frustrated right now, I am, too. But it really helps to try and think (and speak) positively." :D
Anyway, I hope things work out a little better at work for ya. And btw, YAY for your improving health!!!
Take a bullwhip to work with you and lay down the smack down. No one will ever complain around you again. And, since you have full strength in your hands, cracking the whip should be no problem.
Come to Utah and destress! Can't wait till August!!
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