2010 Utah Trip...

This year our trip to Utah consisted of spending time with my family, visiting friends, and a WEDDING.  My younger brother, Karl, married a beautiful girl named Kiersten.  They are so perfect together.  I never had the chance to meet Kiersten until the Saturday before the wedding.  However, we would always talk on Facebook, text, and sometimes talk on the phone.  I felt like I knew her before I ever met her.  So for me to say I didn't know Kiersten, would be false.  I not only knew her, but I fell in love with her before ever actually meeting her.  It was kinda funny because she had multiple dreams about meeting me and how I would respond.  

The pictures I have are taken by Dana, my SIL, or her son Jacob.  I have to give him some credit because he is an amazing photographer.  I let him take my camera and I got some awesome pictures.

Karl and Kiersten coming out of the Bountiful Temple where they were sealed for time and all eternity.  It was such an amazing sealing.
They were so funny because Karl would always go in for this long passionate kiss and Kiersten would pull away.  It was so funny.
Walking up the hill for family pictures...
My cute little family.  I love this picture.  However, I would love it more if I were a little smaller. :)  (Just a side note...I am off my steroid...HOORAY!!!!!)
The most handsome bestman EVER!!!  My cute little nephew, ZAC!  Isn't he a little stud?!?!?!
There is a long story about why we didn't capture many pictures, but I won't go in to that...Groom and Bestman....at their best!
This is one tired little bestman!  Still a little doll...
The gift takers...really good ones at that.  Kia (on the right) came up to me and told me that he had asked someone if he could take a gift and the guy wouldn't let him take it.  Kia thought it was pretty funny since that is what they were supposed to be doing.
My two best friends from High School came to the reception.  It was so good to see them.  (I will post more pictures soon of our little get together away from the reception.)
Beautiful Bride, Handsome Groom, Happy Father of the Groom.
Proud Parents of the Bride...they really know how to plan a wedding.  I know who I am calling if I ever have a girl.
Ryan and Jason, my friend Tiffany's husband, both have a love for sports, so they talked for quite a while.  Jason also helped decorate the car.
My beautiful neice, Sarah!  She is the sweetest little thing.
AND then there is BABY KEITH...I love those cheeks.  He and Sarah were born in different hospitals, different states on the same day last year.  So we had a little birthday party for them.
Here are the Heavenly twins...They both liked the dirt and/or cake...

Anyway, I will post the pictures from my camera really soon...maybe!  I haven't been very good at posting lately.

Kayden, Kayden, Kayden

While I don't really have any new pictures of Kayden (I know I am bad...)he is talking up a storm and making us laugh more and more every day.  Here are a couple of things he does or says that we just love:

1. A couple of weeks ago Ryan's parents were out of the country and Ryan was running his dad's business so I got a babysitter for Kayden.  (Well, my sister would watch him until she went to work and then a girl in our ward would come over and stay with him until we got home.)  My sister went and got the babysitter the first day and the whole way home Kayden said, "I not going to talk to her!"  Needless to say that didn't last long and by the end of the week, Kayden was in love with her.

2.  Kayden has had a problem with hitting...I think most parents go through this, but it has been really frustrating.  Lately, if he thinks I am made at him at all he immediately apologizes.  I usually tell him that I am not mad at him and he just smiles at me.  I make sure to praise him when he (for example) doesn't hit or get mad when someone takes a toy away from him.

3.  I love laying by Kayden, because right before he drifts off to sleep...he touches my face and says, "I love you so much!" and I say it back to him and he will roll over and go to sleep.

4.  Kayden loves drinking water...he drinks a ton of water, but it has to be cold.  Every night after he lays down he will yell to Ryan..."DADDY, WILL YOU BRING ME MY WATER!"  After Ryan responds Kayden will say, "I WANT COLD WATER, K!"  Ryan loves it.

5.  Kayden has been stuttering.  It really bothers Ryan and I, but it is so cute.  It is really sad though because he will be talking and he can't spit the word out so he will just stop talking.  So I took him to get screened for a program put on by Mesa Public Schools.  We went in and did the whole screening and he did very well.  In all the catagories, the max you could score was 16 and Kayden was scoring 20-25 in each one so they said to not worry.  When I was talking to the speech pathologist she said that he talks so well for his age.  Because of his language developing so fast she said to think of his brain as a filing cabinet.  He has so many words to go through and as adults we use 'like' and 'um' as fillers.  Kayden doesn't do that yet so he prolongs the first letter of the word.  Makes total sense now, but it still is really hard to not try to help him, but you are supposed to let them finish and encourage them to finish if they aren't.

6.  Kayden is now warning me when he is going to be shy.  So we will be walking in to a place and he warns me, "Mom, I going to be shy in there!"

7.   If we only had a barn and the animals for Kayden...he would be a perfectly happy child.  He loves to play with all his animals and when I put them away he will be in there within minutes and getting them out to play with them.  Most times I come home from work and he has them lined up by animal.  So all 10 cows are together all 5 Zebras are together...so on...so on...so on!

Well, for now that is all I needed to put down in writing.  As I think of more things I am going to need to write them down.

Help...I need suggestions!

The past year I am thankful for the many tender mercies I have had. However, I haven't been the best at noticing them and being thankful for them. The past couple weeks have been really hard on me and I have had to sit back and be thankful for all that I have and sometimes that is really hard to do. I get to feeling sorry for myself and I can't get out of the funk. I have to say that as much as I dislike what has been dealt to me health wise...I am really thankful for it. That is really hard for me to say, but it has made me slow down and realize what is really important.

While I have been on the trail to 'remission' every doctors appointment I have had I have gotten progressivley better. Ultimately I just want to get better and that is what I tell my doctors. At my last visit my doctor informed me that he was at the end of his residency and would be moving back to Ohio. I was really sad because he has been with me from almost the very beginning of this whole ordeal. Yesterday was my last appointment with him and it was a really good one. I have been on Prednisone (steroid) since the end of September and have slowly been having more and more side effects show up. I really do feel bad for Ryan because he usually gets the brunt of everything I deal with and he is great! So they are reducing the steroid more steadily so that I can get back to normal...HOORAY! Also, they have just figured that I had permanent nerve damage in my hands because I haven't had all my strength. I am proud to say that I have my strength back in my hands and my thumb was the weakest last time and it is now the strongest. My reflexes were really strong yesterday too. Let me just say how wonderful it is to have reflexes after a year of not having them. Now I just need to focus on my fatigue. Any suggestions are gladly welcome!

Then...if anyone follows me on Facebook you know that I have been working overtime since February at work. Our system that was rolled out in February has had some issues and when it can't figure out how to solve them on its own...it just shuts down. They are expecting it to take about 2 years to recover. Not only do we have the new system, but we are merging with Wachovia and converting them to the Wells Fargo platform. Work has been really frustrating for me. I am so grateful that I have the job I have because I really do love it. HOWEVER, (you knew that was coming, RIGHT?) I am so sick of people speaking negatively at work. But what bothers me even more is that I don't have the courage to say anything to them about it. I need help, everyone! I need to be able to have the courage to tell people that I don't want to hear the negativity because it not only brings me down, but it brings them down too. I have resorted to putting my earphones in all day and ignoring everyone, but I want to build up courage to tell people what I think in the long run will make everyone better people. Any suggestions are very welcome with this matter as well!

Anyway, I think that is all I have for now. I may be all over the place but I hope my point is clear.

Wildlife World Zoo...

So, I have been off of work since Thursday and let me just say...IT HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. I love spending time with my little Rugrat. He is a blast and keeps me laughing always. He can be a little handful, but nontheless a very cute one at that. On Friday, we took Kayden out to the Wildlife World Zoo. It was so amazing and Kayden was in heaven. We went with Deena, Landon, Dama Gayle, and Ryan. Landon and Kayden (well mainly Kayden...Landon stayed by us most of the time!) would run ahead of us and prepare us for what we were about to approach. Before even getting there Kayden was telling us how badly he wanted to see Melman (the giraffe on Madagascar). The first animal we went to was the giraffe. I didn't get many pictures because I really don't need pictures of animals and have you ever tried to get a picture of an active two year old...IMPOSSIBLE! However, I did manage to get a picture of Kayden with Melman and you can see how close these giraffes are. They let you feed them and all. It was AWESOME! So of the few pictures I did get I don't think I did too bad. It was really fun and most importantly. Kayden had a blast.
And I just think these things are hilarious. Although they too are on Madagascar and so Kayden refers to them as King Julian! HAHA!
On a different subject now...Kayden loves DOGS. Everytime someone is walking a dog past our house he thinks he can go pet them. There is a very dear, sweet lady in our ward that is in nursery and Kayden has fallen in love with her. She calls herself Sister Annette. We love her and she adores Kayden (or any child for that matter)! Anyway, she also loves animals and has 2 dogs. She has a very friendly dog named Cocoa and recently doctored and decided to keep this cute little dog that she named Matilda. She lives on the same street as us and so we see her walking her dogs frequently.
The other night Kayden wanted out of the house so I took him on a walk in his stroller. We were just strolling along and we see Sister Annette walking with her two dogs. Kayden was thrilled. So we stopped and played with Cocoa and Matilda and I called Ryan to bring the camera out so I could snap a couple of pictures. Kayden was so cute with little Matilda and when we were walking Sister Annette home Matilda rode on Kaydens lap in the stroller and thought that was pretty darn cool!
Not only is Kayden so darn cute in these pictures...that dog is so cute!
Someday, when we have a house of our own...and a yard of our own...I would love to get Kayden a dog.

Then for keepsake purposes I need to jot down a couple of things that Kayden has been saying lately so I never forget them...

1. I cut my finger while I was doing dishes and I wanted sympathy and Ryan wasn't home so I went to Kayden. I told him I had an owie that was bleeding and he came over to the sink and looked at it and said, "Well, put it under the water." I did and it still kept bleeding. I showed him that it was still bleeding and he said, "We need to fix this!" So I asked him how and he replied, "I don't know!"

2. We have an IPOD Touch and it has a couple of games on it and the other night I was playing one and Kayden came up and said, "Can I see that for a second?!?!" I let him and he starts touching the screen and says, "Now, let's see how this works!"

3. I was laying by Kayden the other night waiting for him to drift off to sleep and I could tell by his breathing that he was really close to being asleep. He rolled over and touched my face and said, "I love you so much, Mom!" and drifted off to sleep.

4. My sister, Aunt Kuku, was watching Kayden the other day and said something to him and I guess her voice was a little raised and he siad back to her, "Stop yelling at me!"

5. Kayden walked in to my room today while I was getting ready for church and said, "You better watch out mom!" I asked why and he said, "There is a fire!" I asked where the fire was at and he said, "In here," pointing to the diaper pale, "You better run!"

I love this little guy so much! He may drive me crazy with his very active personality, but I could not live without him. He has been such a blessing and a joy in mine and Ryan's life. Where would we be without him? I am so thankful that we had him when we did! With how things have taken a turn in our life, if we hadn't had him when we did we would be waiting a very long time for a child to join our family. We love the little guy!

Multi Purpose Post

This is what I am calling a multi-purpose post for obvious reasons. I haven't updated my blog in a while and while time has passed extremely fast...I have no good excuse other than I don't know where time has gone. My life is pretty busy for the most part and I think I want to keep it there...I am going to do a breakdown of what has been going on...hopefully I don't bore you to death. I need to write everything down so I don't forget.
1. My younger brother Karl has found his eternal companion. They are going to be getting married in the Bountiful UT temple on August 10th. I have yet to meet Kiersten, but I have talked to her on webcam and on the phone and we love her. Kayden is very excited to get a new aunt and if you ask him who his new aunt is going to be he can tell you.

2. Ryan did the Pat Tillman run. He said it was an amazing experience. It is a 4.2 mile run and you end the run on the 42 yard line at ASU. Unfortunetly there was over 30,000 people that did it this year so I didn't get a picture of Ryan running because I didn't want to be in the stampede of people.

3. The one year marked passed for my diagnosis. I was diagnosed on March 27th, 2009. In a way it was the best day, but also one that was very sad. I found out a lot that day and over the past year I have done research and found out a lot more. My life changed very drastically over the year. Our plans to expand our family have been put on hold until I am medically released to have another child. I have gained weight and hate it...I mean HATE it. I know what it is like to be completely helpless. BUT, I am still thankful to my Lord that has given me the faith to get through this. Without the gospel in my life and good friends placed in my life and a great husband who loves and cares about me so much...there is no way I would have been able to make it through everything. Although I still have treatments every other week and am still on a heavy dose of medication, life it good! Because of this...
4. Kayden...where do I start...He is growing way too fast! He talks up a storm. He is the sweetest little guy when he wants to be, but we have struggled with the terrible twos. I sure hope the threes are better to us. He has gone through a biting, hitting, pinching, kicking...you name it stage. It is almost through...I hope and he seems to be doing better. I sure do love the little guy though! He says the funniest things and does the funniest things. He keeps us laughing. Life would be so boring without him. I don't remember what life was like without him. He likes to 'hold me', he likes to go play on the swings at Dama and Papa Workmans, he knows his name is Kayden Workman and will correct you if you call him anything else, he loves to play baseball (Tball) and catch with his dad, he is an outside boy, he loves his cousins, he has very good aim and can throw a ball very well, he likes to wrestle and most of all he likes to make people happy. If he knows I am sad...he does everything to make me happy!

5. My sister, Annette, had her second child the day after my birthday...April 19th! Welcome to the world Gage Kimball Barney. He is the cutest little guy. He weighed in at 7 lbs. 11 oz. To me he doesn't look anything like his older brother, but equally as cute! My sister looks amazing for just having a baby! That was so not me!

6. Ryan has finals this week and will be done with school for the summer! HOORAY!

So that is all I guess...I thought there was more, but I can't think of anything else. If you are wondering about the background and why I would choose it...It is for Kayden. He loves Zebra and get so excited when he sees anything zebra print.

St. Louis

So the pictures will really explain our trip. It was so wonderful to see my family. My brother and his wife just moved to St. Louis and were very wonderful hosts. We stayed busy with them and there 3 beautiful girls. I was able to see my brother and his family (he has 4 boys) and his wife, Dana. Then my sister, Doris, came with her adorable little baby! It was a blast. I hadn't seem my brothers family since January of 2009 and my other brothers family since November of 2009. I saw my sister in April of 2009, but that visit was long overdue and much too short.

My neices...Esther and Portia (St. Louis) and Baby Sarah (Washington)! Aren't they all so beautiful!
The bridge going from Missouri to Illinois...
The Arch from the bottom of the hill.
Kind of an odd place for a statue doncha think!
My cute sister and baby Sarah in front of the arch.
Ryan and I and half of Kayden...don't know what happened to this picture when I uploaded it...weird
LOVE THIS PICTURE OF THE ARCH...
I took this picture myself...I am so chubby and you can totally tell in this picture...
My hot husband...I love this picture too.
My brother Richard pushed Kayden up the wall. Kayden thought it was funny!
Precious little Bekah! She is the sweetest thing. Everytime Ryan would hold his hands out to her she would shake her head. It was so funny.
Ryan and Richard spent a day doing sports stuff. They went to a hockey game, on a tour of Busch Stadium and out to eat. They had a blast. This is the view in Busch Stadium.
Ryan took this Harry Potter picture just for me. Thanks babe!

At the hockey arena two of the St. Louis Blues players were on the olympic team and they had the medals there.
Ryan in the hockey arena.
Beautiful girl on the way to the arch again so we can go up in it this time.
Esther on a weight a measure thing they had waiting to go up in to the arch.
Baby Bekah...couldn't get enough of her.
And my little man, Kayden! He thought it was so cool.
Up in the arch...630 feet. It was pretty cool!
Kayden riding in the 'Alligator'...I had told Kayden that it was a train ride, but it was more like an elevator ride. So my brother was explaining that to him and Kayden says, "I am in an alligator!" It was so cute!
He was so funny!
We were all putting our arms up to make it feel like a ride.
We went to the St. Louis Zoo and this was the only picture we got of Kayden. All the other ones were of the animals...He loved it though and was so good.
Ryan and I in front of the St. Louis Temple. If I had remembered to take my recommend then we would have done a session, but I had left it in my temple bag.
My favorite statue at Nauvoo. It is so sweet.
The horses that took us around Old Nauvoo on a carriage ride.
This statue of Hyrum and Joseph sits in front of the temple. It is amazing.
Ryan and I in front of the temple.
Ryan took this picture of the temple and I thought it was awesome.
Carthage Jail...the best part of going to Nauvoo.
Statue of Joseph and Hyrum at Carthage.
The window from the inside that Joseph fell out of.
The window from the outside.
The bullet holes in the door the mob shot through. If you haven't been to Carthage Jail it is a must. It was so amazing and the Spirit was so strong.
My cute little Portia and I. I'm not wearing any make up and I look super chubby. It was a great time and Kayden is still missing Portia like crazy and asks for her all the time. He talks about Esther to people that ask about his trip and at least once a day he tells me about poking Bekah in the eyes so as you can tell he had a very memorable time as well. We hope to go back sooner than later sometime.

Good News...Finally!!!!

Well, if any of you follow me on facebook you know that I had a doctors appointment today. I was really close to cancelling it but decided not to and I am glad that I didn't. Not that I didn't want to go, but just for the simple fact that I didn't want to drive to Phoenix two times this week. But, such is life. It goes on! So, I kept the appointment thinking that I would take an early lunch and the appointment would be pretty quick. Well, the doctor (the resident) came in after I had been in the room about 2 minutes and started his assessment. He was very impressed with how much of an improvement I had made. I think he thought that since they were lowering my steriod dose that I wouldn't improve as much. Well, I did. Everytime I go in they test my strength. They do all these little tests like hold my arms out and try to push them down and I have to resist it. I haven't been able to keep my arms up and today I was able to keep them up! It has been well over a year since I have been able to do that! So the doctor went to get the other doctor so that he could assess me as well to make sure the resident hadn't skipped anything. He got the same results. I hadn't seen this doctor before, but he was really good and knew a lot about this disease. He has been doing a lot of research on it and was very informative.

This doctor was gave me a few options with my medications. Most of you know that I have been going every other friday to get treatments at the hospital and I have been taking the steroid daily. Well, he gave me all my options and we decided that instead of taking the steroid daily I will take it once a week...this will help minimize the side effects I have had like weight gain and a puffy face...all those pleasant things. The down side to taking it only once a week is that I will have a horrible taste in my mouth for 1-2 days and I probably won't sleep for 1-2 days. If any of you have been on steroids you know that it makes you very energetic...nervous...anxious...you get the picture right? They are going to keep my treatments at every other week because they don't want to change too many things and then if something doesn't work not know what it was. I will see the doctor again in 2 months. At that time if I am doing well on the steroid they will lower that dose and also change my treatment to once a month. They want to taper me off the treatments first because they know that the steroid is supressing my immune system and that is what they need! There hasn't been enough research done on the treatment to know if it is able to suppress the immune system, but they know for sure the steroid can do that.

I am confident they are on the right track, but they believe I am in remission. HOORAY! They are just going to keep me on the steroid and taper that off so they can know for sure that it is in remission. Idealy they are hoping that by the end of the year I will be completely off all the medications. SSOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That is my good news for the week! I was pretty excited!

Oh yeah!!!! One more thing...there was one blood test that they hadn't done on me! Believe it or not out of the 100+ vials of blood they took they never tested me for Lyme's Disease. I don't think I ever had it, but they think that it can cause the body to respond the way mine has so they drew the blood today to test me for that. They are also going to be redoing my MRI because my last MRI was abnormal. I guess the nerve roots in my brain were enlarged so they want to check those to make sure everything is looking good. So, I will keep all posted on that!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I really do have good intentions to update my blog more, but I have been so busy. I know I am not horrible at updating my blog, but with all the new things that Kayden does I feel like I need to write everything down. Kayden...what a kid! He is the sweetest little thing and is really learning his manners. He has been sick the past THREE days and he is still the happiest little guy. He threw up all over everything the other night and I got him cleaned up and taken care of and he was curled up in a ball on the couch. I had put his sheets, blanket and pajamas in the wash and waited until they were done so that I could put his blanket in the drier for a couple of minutes. I knew that if he woke up in the night again that he would want his blanket. Well, as suspected he woke up and wanted his blanket. He is funny because he always smells his blanket and he did again and said, "It's all clean mom!" And I said, "Yes, I cleaned it just for you!" He leaned over and gave me the sweetest kiss on the cheek and said, "Thank you, momma!" Isn't that so sweet! It is things like this that make me fall more and more in love with being a mother.

Kayden is now talking in full sentences and when he is getting whinny and he starts talking he talks so fast that he starts to studder. It is so funny. He always is asking me if he can help me with the dishes, with pouring milk in to his sippy, with everything...he is a helper. It is great! I can get hard though because I can't do things as fast as I would like to. Last night Kayden picked up my phone and said, "I going to send a tex!" It was so funny and the lucky recipient was his dama! He adores Ryan's mom, Dama!

This past week my cute nephew, Kia was here. Kayden fell in love with Kia! Kia loved hanging out with Kayden, but he really loved being with Ryan. While Kia was here Ryan took him to a Hockey game and Kia loved it. They had a great time. The next day we took Kia to the Cardinals Rally at the airport, went to Chipotle (Kia's favorite place), then we went to Golflasnd and did a round a miniature golf. When we came home Kia and Ryan went outside and threw a football and then we went and got a pizza and Kia and I played a fun game that Elyse had bought the family for Christmas. It was a great time. Then we had to take him to the airport on Saturday. Kayden cried the whole way home from the airport saying that he wanted his Kia.

Anyway, here are some a few pictures. I don't have many...I need to be better about capturing all those moments! We will work on that!

Christmas Season

Shopping with a crowd and a child in tow is NOT one of my favorite things to do.  I usually get very irritable and just want to quit.  This year my goal was to not be so grouchy with all the shoppers because when I worked retail I always wished people would remember the reason for the season.  On Saturday, I decided that since I hadn't done ANY Christmas shopping for Ryan that I needed to get out and do just that.  I wanted to take Kayden with me so that he could experience shopping for this dad.  Kayden was a perfect little angel boy.  He thought it was so cool that we were going out to buy his daddy presents.  I am proud to say that we made it through the trip with no melt downs, from me or from him.  We got home and he was all tuckered out and he went down and I wrapped the gifts.  I knew if I didn't wrap the gifts I would be up doing them Christmas Eve and I did not want that.  Also, if any of you know Ryan, it is driving him crazy that he doesn't know what he is getting...so he would probably try to look for them when I wasn't home.  He even went to the extent of asking Kayden was the present was and Kayden (thank goodness) answered, "Daddy's Present"....phew!

I really have been trying to focus on the Christmas Season this year and not get into the busy world.  I really do love Christmas and I love the reason for the season.  This year has been really hard on Ryan and I and when I think about it I just hope and pray that this next year will bring a year of recovery and health.  I don't think I could have another year of this again.  So, to me I am just thankful for the health that I do have, for the beautiful little boy that gets me through everyday when I am down.  I am so thankful for my wonderful husband who has been by my side all year, for sitting by my hospital bed day in and day out, for sitting by my side after the I got out of the hospital and hold my throw up bucket and clean it out and do all the gross stuff.  He has been nothing but supportive.  For my in-laws...I couldn't have done it without them.  My mother-in-law made out babysitting schedules for Kayden, she made sure we had meals, she came to the hospital almost everyday, she made sure Kayden had everything he needed.  If you don't know you...you should get to know her.  She is amazing.  My father-in-law for being concerned.  He sat in the ER with Ryan and I the first time I was in the hospital after collapsing.  He stayed at the hospital that night until I had had a blessing and that he knew I was being admitted.  He waited through my spinal tap and hearing me scream in pain.  He is the greatest example to my husband and son!  He would do anything to make sure his children were taken care of.  My sister, LeeAnn, for dropping stuff all the time to come help with Kayden.  She is great and I couldn't do a lot without her.  I enjoy calling her in the evening so we can talk about our days.  It is a great wind down session for me.  My sister-in-law, Jennifer, dropped everything to fly to AZ from CO with her baby to come help Ryan when I couldn't stop throwing up.  She made dinners, cleaned my fridge, and did everything that I hadn't been able to do for 3 months or so.  My sister, Annette, for coming to AZ for UT the second time I was in the hospital.  She was a huge help and by her coming I was able to convince my doctors I didn't need to go to a rehab place.  My sister-in-law, Dana, that I call every morning.  I love talking to her.  She is so uplifting and positive.  My sister-in-law, Deena, for taking time to watch Kayden while Ryan goes to school.  What a huge help that has been.  My visiting teachers...gosh these two women are amazing.  I love them.  They help me at the drop of the hat all the time and I am so thankful for them.  I have so much to be thankful for and I can't name everyone in here because this would be a never ending post.  I just feel like I have so much to be thankful for and I need to share it with everyone.  

The gospel in my life and the support I receive from those I love at church and my family has been shown so much this year.  I am so thankful for my testimony of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I am thankful that I have had the strength and the faith.  Without faith I would be lost.  I just pray that I can have the faith to continue onward and make it through this.  I love my family, Ryan's family, and all those around me.  I pray that Kayden will grow up and not get caught up in the presents, but the presence of Christmas. 

I hope this Christmas Season finds everyone doing well.  I love you all and am so thankful for the support and prayers my family has received from you throughout the year.  I have not had the chance to do Christmas cards this year, so I hope that this can replace that.  May we remember the reason for the season and share the joy of the Christmas season not just at this time, but year round.  

It has been a while...

So it has been a while since I have updated my blog and it isn't because I haven't been thinking about it, but life happens and I would rather go to bed then sit up and figure out what to write.  Not that I sleep when I am in bed...because sleep doesn't happen much around here except for Kayden and Ryan.  

So I decided that I needed to write what was going on with me just for my sake and so I don't forget so I have future references to go back on.  A little over a month ago I was put on a steroid...I didn't mind as long as it was for a short term.  I had gotten to a point where I wasn't getting any better and I wasn't getting any worse.  I just knew that I was tired of not being able to pick up Kayden (especially if he was in a fisty mood) and I was sick of not being able to change his diaper and doing things that people take for granted everyday.  I had reached a breaking point and I couldn't handle it anymore.  I made an appointment with my doctor and went and saw him two weeks later.  That is when he decided to put me on the steroid.  I am still doing my treatments every other week and taking the steroid daily.  Also, I am not giving the steroid full credit because I don't think that it was completely the steroid.  When I was in the hospital in August my brother, Keith, called me and told me about this all natural supplement that he wanted me to think about taking.  I told him I would look in to it and then life happened and I never did.  My brother really isn't in to the all natural things so I was kind of surprised.  He had been taking it for other reasons and thought it may help me.  I am not into the all natural things either.  I didn't start taking it right away...in fact, it wasn't until I talked to my sister-in-law one day that she said that she was ordering some for me to try.  They couldn't hurt anything that is for sure.  I got them in the mail a little over a week later and started them.  I can now tell on the days I don't take them because my hands and feet seem to tingle all day.  Anyway, so I give that most of the credit as well.  

The whole process since I got out of the hospital in August has been more than frustrating and I have had a very hard time staying positive.  I feel bad for my husband who has been nothing but supportive and has picked up the slack and has more than proved himself as an amazing person.  I also feel bad for my sister-in-law that I call almost every morning and she usually hears me complain and talks me through it.  She is amazing!  I am very hopeful that this next year will be a year of recovery.  I don't think I could handle anything more.  If I stay positive then I know it can happen.  Let's kick this disease in to remission.  Also, if you see me and I look like I am pregnant, don't get your hopes up.  It can't and isn't going to happen for a long while.  These steriods have made my face a little fat and I have done a pretty good job at watching what I eat so I don't get super fat.  Beleive me...I think I would rather be pregnant.  (The reason this came up was because someone asked Ryan if I was pregnant!)

So on to Kayden!  Kayden never ceases to amaze us.  He is definetely a two year old, but he melts my heart at least 50 times a day.  He is so cute and funny and cuddly and loveable.  I feel bad because sometimes I don't have the patience to deal with him so I get frustrated which makes him frustrated, but I am working on it.  He is talking in full sentences and his latest phrase is, "Please don't!"  And he always says it in the right spot.  He loves to help me do everything and make everything.  I usually just put him in front of the sink with the water running and he thinks he is being a huge help.  The mess is a very welcome treat if it means I have a happy little boy that just wants to help. 

So on to Ryan...Ryan is in school full time and is a work out fanatic.  He will do his work outs and then still take the time to go walking with me at night since that is really the only exercise I can do.  (If you saw me run you would laugh...I can't do it!)  He tried out for the Mesa Police Academy and passed the Physical Test and then got selected to do the written test, but missed it by six points.  DARN!  But we just remind ourselves that everything is on the Lords time.  Most people can't pass this test the first time.  It usually takes them 2 or 3 times so for Ryan to only miss it by six points...I think that is darn good!!!